I've employed all these methods to compile a fairly comprehensive view of possible motivations for choosing polyamory. So it's probably inevitable that some people will come to polyamory hoping that polyamory will allow them to avoid dealing with problematic personal issues or that it will solve problems in an existing relationship, but if this works at all it's usually a temporary fix.
In a few cases, however, polyamory does allow people to create healthy and functional relationships they probably could not have managed otherwise.
Basically, relationship anarchy means that only the people within the relationship dictate what they want that relationship to look like.
Societal norms for relationships are questioned and often discarded.
I’m certainly not the only person in a non-monogamous relationship these days; my open status doesn’t score me nearly as many cool points as it once did, nor is it as controversial as it once was. Four years into our relationship and one year into our marriage, my wife Chris and I decided to open our relationship.
NON-MONOGAMY: You’re doing it wrong/That shit’s hard.
Relationship anarchy is one of the (roughly) four types of polyamory.
It can also refer to a type of monogamy, but we are going to focus on the polyamorous relationship anarchy.
Wanting to focus on my own personal growth, attracted to the freedom of disappearing to summer camp without worrying about Chris’s lack of company, I jumped at the opportunity to open our relationship.My wife, Rachael, and I stood by a Jacuzzi in Fire Island with a dozen gay men. Mandy had braced herself against the edge of the blue fiberglass tub, her ropy black hair spilling down in front of her. It was sex, but it wasn’t particularly sexy — more Animal Planet than Spice Channel.We may sincerely believe this story, or we may suspect it's fabricated.Either way, it's not always easy to discover the reasons people choose polyamory.I had dabbled in non-monogamy previously in more casual relationships, so it wasn’t a hard leap for me to make.The diamonds latched to my ring finger certainly helped out in the security department.Over cocktails and cocaine, there was talk of Human Rights Coalition fundraisers, hot tech investments, the cost of kitchen renovations, vacations to Tuscany, and second homes in Rehoboth.In this world, Rachael and I were the exotic ones — the hot straight couple who partied like rock stars with the boys.If this definition seems a bit vague- it is because it is.There aren’t rules or guidelines to follow; after all, it is anarchy.