They aren’t necessarily representative of users of the Erotic Review, let alone the much broader sex-buying community.
But the findings, even given these limitations, are fascinating — take that most of these “hobbyists” are primarily concerned that a provider has “a happy and cheerful personality.” That’s why I decided to talk to Christine Milrod, a psychotherapist and one of the lead authors on the study, about the so-called Girlfriend Experience, in which sex workers provide the illusion of a more romantic, cash-free transaction — and why these “hobbyists” are drawn to it.
Armed with expendable income and encouragement to claim their right to sexual pleasure, women could become consumers in a field previously reserved for men.
However, the notion of a female client is not entirely new.
They’re rich, married, middle-aged — and they pay for sex.
But they aren’t looking for taboo sex they can’t get at home: These men want an emotional connection.
Some strip clubs still don’t allow women inside without male companions.
Well, the thing that struck me the most was the whole concept of the Girlfriend Experience, and the fact that the behaviors themselves really mirror conventional non-remunerative romantic relationships.You know that whatever you say, people are going to react based on all these and so many other factors. For starters, who and what do you include in your number? What about someone you met online and masturbated with but never talked to or saw in real life?And if the person asking the question is a sexual partner (or a potential sexual partner) even more goes into your answer. In part because few of us are taught how to think critically about sexuality and our own thoughts or desires, most of us rely on numbers. Does it only count if you were naked or if your genitals touched?It’s time to take seriously the notion that women can patronize sex workers to satisfy their own desires, rather than cater to those of a male partner.To be sure, women still use men to gain entry into the world of sex for sale.You may assume that people only include sex partners where intercourse, or oral sex happened.But we know from survey research that there are people who consider more than that to be real sex, and others who don't consider oral sex to be sex at all.That’s according to a new survey of men who look for sex online, rather than on the storied street corner, and trade reviews on a website called the Erotic Review (as a Gawker headline once put it, “It’s like Yelp, but for hookers”).These men are connoisseurs of the sex trade, although they refer to themselves as “hobbyists.” The nearly 600 men surveyed were mostly white, middle-aged, highly educated and pulling in six figures.While busy career women are increasingly using their phones and the internet to access sexual services.Sex industry expert Dr Kingston, said: "We are seeking to explore the motivations and experiences of women who book escorts; who and where they buy sex from and how physical and sexual safety is ensured."The study involves interviewing men, women and transgender people who sell sexual services to women, as well as women who purchase sexual services."Our participants say most of the women who buy sex are professional people, some of whom may simply want pleasurable sexual experiences."Paying an escort is described as a way of ensuring discretion, as opposed to other ways of securing sexual encounters." The lecturer in Criminology at Lancaster University added: "Some female clients also seem to not want or have the time for a 'conventional' relationship."Some women also pay for more than just sexual intercourse.