She has told me that she knows her real happiness can only be achieved with me. She knows her family (and his) will be devastated and very disappointed in her. A few weeks after this story was posted, we took a trip out of town for a week together. They haven’t completely come around but they are making motions in that direction. We have discussed our intention to marry, but we haven’t firmed up any plans. She has struggled with guilt over how things transpired. She accepts that her marriage is nothing more than a good friendship and always has been. She acknowledges that she’s lived a majority of her life trying to make other people happy and “do the right thing” and never put her own happiness first. The day we came back home, she told her husband about us and asked him to move to his parents’ house. As expected, she got little support or understanding. They finally admitted that they knew the marriage was in trouble for years despite the calm appearance. If you are on a personal connection, like at home, you can run an anti-virus scan on your device to make sure it is not infected with malware.
However, the truth is that many attached and even married people are also using the internet as a way to meet new people and to develop relationships.I made a promise to my husband and to myself, long before we were even wed, to be austerely honest.He knows I’ve been a compulsive masturbator since I was twelve years old. We see each other 4-5 times per week (sometimes more) for a few hours each time. Our emotional connectedness is at an all time high and gets stronger by the day. He is in a new relationship with someone who thought she was too old to find love again.She has told me that she would rather be with me than him. And she’s struggling with how she can walk in and just destroy his world. It actually amuses me a bit to see such certainty and judgment from some of the commenters who have no idea about the details of my situation. Like Robert Browning’s “The Last Duchess,” the narrative reveals more about the speaker than the “duchess.” Your filters reveal your experiences and biases but have nothing to do with me and my situation. After she’s had a few transitional months to herself, I’ll join her there and our life together will officially begin. Her family is starting to accept the way things are. I’ve been essentially living with her for about 6 months. I totally realize that we went about things entirely the wrong way. However, this may be a case of “all’s well that ends well.” I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. I guess the reason I wrote this in the beginning , and the reason I’ve continued to update it, is that I know I’m not the only one to experience this. Reading some of the comments, I realize that we all have our own filters in place and may be incapable of being objective about any of it. I first came to Japan in 2003, and started studying Japanese shortly thereafter.I spend a tremendous amount of time asking Japanese people, in Japanese, what they think about Japan, love, sex, foreigners, language, and everything else under the sun.My belief (confirmed by her words) is that she is going to counseling to try to figure out how to navigate the end of a relationship she’s been in for half of her life. Well, it would appear that I have run out the string on being in a secondary relationship. Yes, the tide has turned and I feel like it’s a matter of time before EVERYTHING changes. She withdrew from some friends for similar reasons. During this time, we spent more time together than ever. But the reality of the change is still emotional and raw. I knew early on that I am not cut out for being in an affair. So much in the moment is wonderful and happy and the momentum has definitely swung mightily in my direction. And yet I still feel my skin crawling every time I think of the little things. It was a relief to know that our “secret” was known. In the couple of months since then, she has had some setbacks due to medical reasons but we are together and stronger than ever. This seems to elicit very different results than speaking in English.What I see often seems unlike the Japan depicted in books and on the net, and sometimes I wonder, What country are these people talking about? Because actually no matter what you say or do, a certain number of them will pretend to like you. Western women will generally let you know up front that they’re not interested in you, while Japanese women will act cute and ooh-and-ahh over you while secretly thinking you’re an idiot. As a man, you’re setting yourself up to be the breadwinner in a society where you’re a perpetual outsider with minimal advancement opportunities.