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Let's face it - if you're going to decide they've sold out, or changed, or whatever it is bitter punks do when their sense of being nieve dies - you would have done that several albums ago. Look what I almost Stepped in has Behind the Music. It does what the vandals want, gets you set up for the album. Like a love affair with a recently divorced, SUV driving soccer mom. We'll All Get Laid almost makes me think of Live, Fast Diharrea (my personal favorite). Little Weirdo makes you think of that 80s movie featuring John Cuzack, Better Off Dead, where John's little brother escapes the earth while the credits roll. window.sbbop Loaded){ var sbbop_modal = create Modal(modal); if (sbbop_modal !This album was taken off the shelves a decade or so ago and replaced by the release "Vandals Play Really Bad Original Country Tunes. I don't know - I had to go and my velvet interior was a soggy mess I think I got a girl named Mary down in Susanville Waitin' for me to come home and make her my wife I know I got a load of somethin' goin' to somewhereville But I can't remember which to save to save my life With a load to Mr. Well, the white girls are cute that I've met in Blackbute, But I'll stick to the road and finish my beer and coffee Now I am marrying Jan from Susanville Or am I suing Jane from Mary'sville? Clowns are neato clowns are fun Clowns are loved by everyone Cops n' commies even fags Everybody loves a gag Clowns everywhere are freakin' out In parades they scream n' shout They're sad as hell, and they're singin' the blues Cause no one laughs at their great big shoes Here's some clowns we really love: Bozo, Scoopy, Rusty Nails Here's a clown we really hate: Ronald Mc Donald ( He's only in it for the burgers ) I saw a clown in the mall today My brother cried and he ran away They get no respect, aren't served in bars No matter how many friends they can fit in their cars The other day I was drivin' around in the clown Mobile with 17 of my friends towin' The ferris wheel in the back and this cop pulls me over and says, "Where ya goin' Bozo? " "Playboy books and cigars." Last verse same as the first Acapulco version, ten times worse With 800 pounds on 18 wheels After 800 miles you know how it feels To have your rear so numb you gotta poke it To see if it's still there Well it's one more load to one more town Only problem is they're all starting to sound a bit similar Lord knows they all look the same So I got some hot coffee in Furnace Creek Abut the trouble is I was never neat and I spilled it And my map and phonebook were a blur But I had a girl and a job to do Or was that job and a girl to do? Well, anyway, after several days I don't know what or if it mattered Just a load of placer to Cedarville, or a load of cedar to Placerville Or a container full of things up to Diamond Springs for an indoor swapmeet Is that a cargo of hay south to Northfork, Some plastic forks north to Hayfork, Or a bunch of men's nugget watches straight through to Pixley, Or Apple Jacks down to Fall River Mills or honor snacks up to Downieville? The man's a friggin' genius." Clowns are forced to take jobs across the nation Below the level of their education It's hard as hell to make ends meet With a painted face and gigantic feet Yesterday I was sittin' in a bar havin' a drink and this clown walks in and says, "Bartender, give me a tree fort." The bartender looks at him and says, "What's in a tree fort?When I love you and I need you desperately tonite He met her at the Soundcheck, where she was tendin' bar Bodacious ones and ruby lips, a regular movie star Her singin' voice was pleasin', that's how she got her name He wasn't from her neighborhood, but he loved her just the same How he wished he could move to Hollywood How he wished he could move to Hollywood But there's goop all over the phone, and Pleasant all over the bill He'd like to see a lot more of her, cause she gives him such a thrill But he's from down in Long Beach, and she lives in Hollywood Hills So there's goop all over the phone, and Pleasant all over the bill Like a duck after a June bug, he's on that honeybee And every night he phones her hive and they get real sticky He tells her that he loves her, but can only talk awhile Cause the phone gets like a greased up hog and the bill's a country mile [Chorus] Now he went off atourin', 'cause the Vandals gotta play But with every show their love costs more 'cause he gets further away There's only one solution, a phony calling card But he yapped & yapped 'till he got slapped with a serious federal charge [Chorus] Now the judge denied him bail, and he fought back the tears And he thought of Pleasant's beauty as they gave him 20 years He said, "I'll go real peaceful like, I know I broke the law, But I ain't no stoop so gimme the goop ' Cause I still got one phone call." And there's goop all over the phone...The Vandals are an American rock band established in 1980 in Huntington Beach, California.) You never did think That we'd ever get together again (We damn sure fooled you) Yeah, we're walkin' real proud And we're talkin' real loud again (In America) You never did think That it ever would happen again Collecting dust inside that liquor store 'till you bought it for me A decanter full of whiskey in the image of the King The more I drank from it the less I saw of you That bottle's empty now and you and I are through When you gave me the King of gifts I didn't know what to say Except a hundred and fifty dollars in an awful lot to pay For a girl like you who doesn't make much money, anyway But you cared enough to put away a little everyday For that Elvis decanter, the one you gave to me A fitting symbol of our love, and empty likeness of the King If I had made it last or filled it up would it have changed a thing?It's just an Elvis decanter, the one you gave to me They told me I should save it, it'd be worth something Someday But me I couldn't wait and the King of Rock got lighter everyday Soon it was half empty and I was half as close to you Then I drank the rest, and should've guessed I drank our love in two Elvis decanter, the one you gave to me In the name of Elvis, why did you have to leave? In fact, there are many elements of this CD that seem to say "This CD is up to par with our past releases and is simply a bunch of new songs for you to listen to, because you like us." While I doubt that this album will be the one to turn anyone on to the vandals, I can say that I don't think this album will turn people off of the vandals. Leave it to the vandals to find things to write songs about that most people just, don't. (I'm trying to come up with an adjective other then rockin, bear with me) My Brain Tells My Body: Great Song. My Brother Is Gay seems personal to whichever band member wrote the song, so I won't criticize it. Vandals to me, in that the subject matter has been pretty much done into the ground by other bands.

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